Torn
by craziperson
Summary: As a love from the past comes into her already complicated life, will she be able to choose between the two halves of her heart. And will her choice end up killing the other, and her. Or will she simply forever be torn...
1. Jealousy

I Don't Own Twilight

* * *

Part 1 - _Renesmee Cullen_I felt my stomach do flip flops inside of me. Each, and every time he says my name, my heart skips a beat. It couldn't be that I loved him. We're just I felt my stomach do flip flops inside of me. Each, and every time he says my name, my heart skips a beat. It couldn't be that I loved him. We're justfriends, yet he is one of my safe havens. One of them. How could one being be so torn between to places in the universe, and still be whole. I have no idea how I am still in one piece. If I were the same little girl who had a crush on him, on both of them years ago, I would have run away. But here I stand, torn between two halves of my heart.

* * *

* * *

I pushed my was through the masses of teenagers to the car waiting for me on the far side of the parking lot. His smile greeting me, as always, while he leaned up against his newly refurbished, Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Took ya' long enough!" Jacob yelled as I neared his truck,"I've been out here for a good fifteen minutes!"

"Who's that?",Kaleb whispered in my ear, while squeezing my hand.

"My brother from another mother.",I whispered back,"Who is also my carpool."

He laughed,"Think I could give you a ride home? I'd love to see your house!"

What is up with this boy and coming over to my house!? It's in the opposite direction as his house, and it's filled to the brim with vampires! I took my hand from his and looked him in the eye. "How 'bout we go over to your house again and study? I'll go tell Jake, and call my mom so they know what's going on. Okay?"

"Sounds good.",he smiled. When I began to turn to go talk to Jake, Kaleb grabbed my hand lightly again. I turned to see him grinning sheepishly. I rolled my eyes and gave him a peck on the lips. I turned back and continued walking over to Jake.

I saw Jake sigh as I walked over to meet up with him,"Hey, Jake!", I said when I reached him. "I'm gonna go to Kaleb's house to study, so you can head home. See ya' later!" Why is it that every time I talk to Jake, my breathing always accelerates? I bit my lip, waiting for him to make some sarcastic remark about me being to good for Kaleb.

"You ask Bella yet?",he asked suspiciously, raising one eyebrow.

"I was about to call her.", I said in defense.

"No you weren't.", he said grinning.

I stuck my tongue out at him, as I whipped my phone out of my pocket. Bella never approved of Kaleb, so I was afraid of what she might say.

I turned casually to where I knew Bella would be standing. Her and the rest of my "teenage" family still were going to high school. Even though I'm able to ditch them at lunch to hang out with my human friends, and of coarse Jacob, they still watch my every move. I spotted Bella and Edward chatting by his Volvo, but I knew they were listening to my conversion.

She picked up the phone before I even heard it ring once."You want to go over to Kaleb's house? Correct?"

"Yes.",I said timidly.

"Go right ahead sweety, but Jake's going to pick you up at five o'clock."

"Thank you so much mom! Bye!", I hung up the phone and turned to Jake to say good bye. "See ya-"

He cut me off,"See you at five.",he said, no emotion in his husky voice. He didn't approve of Kaleb either. He smiled slightly, but it was an empty smile. He was just trying to make me happy. Just like he always did.

I hugged him before he was able to turn away. I didn't want to let him go. He's just looking out for me, even though he doesn't have to with Kaleb. "See you then, Jakey." He pulled away and climbed into his truck, as I waved at him. I felt a twinge of gilt in my stomach as he drove off.

I felt a hand on my waist. "So I believe we have another study date!",Kaleb said with a sheepish grin.

"You believe correctly!",I said smiling.

The car ride to Kaleb's house flew by, mostly because we were cracking up about how weird are math teacher looks now that he finally shaved his beard. When we got to his house, we skipped doing homework, and went straight to watching some movies.

"So what's up with the big guy back in the parking lot? He looked really protective of you, and looked like he was ready to kill me."Kaleb breathed out a shaky laugh at the thought of Jake killing him. I really couldn't see Jake even harming a fly! But Jake is three times the size of Kaleb, so I could understand it.

I sighed. I would have to tell Jake to lay off Kaleb and to not give him the evil eye."That's Jacob for you! He's almost as protective of me as my parents are."

"Why haven't I seen him around before?"

"You have. He's in all of our classes."

"I know that he's in our classes, he sticks to you like glue.",Kaleb said bitterly."I mean I've never seen him give you a ride home before."

"He's been working on his truck for the last month. So, my mom has been picking me up."

"He works on cars?",I heard a slight twinge of jealousy in his voice. Hmm. I wonder why.

"He built the one he drives from scratch. I think he's been fixing up the engine to get more speed lately."

Kaleb put his arm around me, and kissed me. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, as he rubbed my arm. We have been dating for a little over two weeks, but I never feel any spark when we kiss. Not even now.

He pulled away. I looked at the puzzled expression on his face. "So how much can he lift?"

I shrugged."I don't know. Why do you want to know?"

"How long have you known him?"

"Since I was born."

"Have you ev-"

I interrupted him,"Your not seriously jealous of him Kaleb? Are you?"

"How could I not be!"

I shook my head. Dumb boy. I did have a crush on Jake when I was little, and up until I met Kaleb at the beginning of the school year, I still had a crush on him. But how could he be jealous of Jake?"

"Renesmee, it's really hard to compete with him. Even if he is just you friend."

"You don't need to compete with him, Kaleb!",I kissed him again. The doorbell rang so Kaleb and I went to answer it. Jake stood there in a tight muscle shirt, and a pair of shorts."Hey Ness! Your mom sent me a bit early to pick you up."

"No problem,"I turned to Kaleb and kissed him,"Bye."

"Bye, Renesmee.",he said in a gloomy voice.

When we were in the truck, Jake started the engine and cranked up the radio. I sighed. I always feel so relaxed and calm when I'm around Jake.

"Hey Ness. You in the mood for some pizza?" The pack is skipping out on dinner for their own plans."

"Pizza sounds great!"

He smiled and revved the engine. "Wanna see how fast this truck can go now?"

I laughed,"Just don't let Charlie of Edward see you! Or they'll kill us both!"

"See me? They won't be able to catch me! Not even Mr. Leech and his shiny Volvo!",Jake stepped on the gas, sending me back in my chair laughing.


	2. Packing

Tank tops and shorts, check. Bikini, check. Sexy beach party dresses, check. I fell backwards onto my bed in relief. Alice took me shopping the night before and bought me enough clothes for six people, I barely managed to fit all of the clothes in my suitcase. I sighed. I can't believe that I'm going to spend spring break in Miami. Arkansas is great, but not as great as beach parties, clear skies and no parental supervision. Jake is coming along, but it's not like my parents forced him to come and watch after me. They wouldn't, or maybe they would... My thought trailed off as I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling.

"Wow. Alice got to you too?" I looked over to see Jake staring at my mountain of luggage. He opened my suitcase and picked up my pink beach party dresses, and held it up in front of himself. "Think I could pull it off." He grinned and laughed, putting the dress back down.

I rolled onto my elbows to get a better look at him. "Yeah, it really brings out you eyes." I batted my eyelashes at him and then we both started laughing hysterically. "So let me guess, Alice bought an entirely new wardrobe for you too?"

"Complete with new swim shorts for every day of the week, plus the elusive Nessie day that has yet to become official.",I smiled. Jake could always make me smile,"I Just got back from shopping.",he paused,"Your boyfriend is still coming?"

Smile be-gone. "He's not that bad of a guy. Ya' know, you two should hang out when we go to Miami."

"So he is still coming?",he raised his eyebrow. I nodded and he lowered his eyebrow. I puckered out my bottom lip, into a mock pout. He sighed and shook his head. "I'm know I'm going to regret saying this, but. Okay. I'll get to know him."

I smiled at him. Ah, gotta love the mock pout, always works. "Feel like helping me get these bags out to my car?"

"Your car? No. My truck? Yes."

"Come on! I still haven't had the chance to drive my new car, and I got it months ago!"

"Nessie..",he paused,"your seven."

I rolled my eyes. "Technically. But I'm seventeen fiscally."

Jake turned his face towards the door and listened. I could hear a distant hiss. Edward appeared in the doorway. "That does not matter the two of you. Bella and I will be driving Renesmee to the airport"

"Wait a minute!",Alice's bell like voice floated into the room. She came into the room, and glared at Edward. "Just because she's you two's daughter, doesn't mean that only you and Bella get to take her."

"Well the entire family can not fit inside of one car.",Edward argued.

Alice turned to me, who was happily staring at them arguing,"What time do your fights take off?"

"Around four. We were going to go to the airport right after school."

"Well then why don't we..."

I tuned out their arguing as Jake walked over to me. "Feel like getting out of here and driving up to La Push?"

I grinned at him. "You read my mind."

* * *

"I still can't believe your parent's kept you home for the last day of school.",Manny said hugging me.

"I know. They are just kind of freaked because they won't see me for a whole week lol."

"Hey Rene!",I heard Becca yell from behind me. Becca is the only person in the world who calls me Rene.

"Becca! We were worried you weren't gonna make it!"

"Hey!",Becca exclaimed out of breath when she caught up with us. Her blonde hair was a mess and she looked like she had been running through the entire airport. "Why weren't you at school today?"

"My parents couldn't believe that they wouldn't see me for a whole week."

Becca nodded, trying to catch her breath.

"Hey babe, we got everyone's luggage put away.",Kaleb came up behind me and kissed me. Dang. Still no spark. He looked over to Becca."Well, almost everyone's."

"I got it.",Jake came over to Becca.

"Thank's Jake!",Becca exclaimed stared after him as he put her suitcase into the compartment above the seats.

"I'm so thankful I can't read your mind Becca.",I said, shaking my head.

"Hmm? What? Oh, why?",she said still entranced with Jake's arm muscles.

"Cuz' right now, in your mind, Jacob is butt naked."

Everyone started laughing, as they went to their seats. I turned to look at Jacob, and I could swear I saw him smiling. Oh joy, forgot Jake could hear almost anything. Great...


	3. Heartbroken

I Don't Own Twilight

* * *

Part 1 - _Renesmee Cullen_

* * *

I stared into the flames of the bonfire. I'm such an idiot. I'm the very definition of a hopeless romantic. This was suppose to be the best week ever. But my first couple days in paradise has been hell.Kaleb and I had gotten into several fights. And. I felt a lump grow in my throat. Jake. I had yelled at Jake. I let my head fall into my hands. I'd hurt him. I'd been cruel to him. I felt my eyes well up in tears. I lifted my head and looked at the fire.

* * *

_"Ness!"_

_I turned around to see Jake running to catch up with me. I couldn't help but notice that his shirt was off and he was glistening. He'd been swimming. I felt my heart speed up. Does he ever wear a shirt? "__Hey Jake! Are you going to the party__?",I forced myself to look at his face._

_"__What party__?",he asked lightheartedly. But I could see him look over my shoulder at Kaleb who was about twenty feet away, waiting for me. "It's getting dark out, shouldn't you be headed back to the hotel. I heard they have an awesome sushi bar."_

_"We were headed to the party down the beach, Manny's waiting there for us.",I paused. __Becca would fall all over him if he went to the party. I really want him to be there. But he's been hiding from Becca as it is. I would just be leading him into the lion's cage. But... The last time I saw Becca, she was in a food coma from too much Chinese food. "You should come.",I said smiling._

_"__I don't know__...",he trailed off._

_"__Come on Jake. All you've done this entire vacation is swim. Your going to turn into a rasin.__"_

_"__Not true. I did get to know Kaleb. He's terrible at basket ball.",we laughed. I saw his eyes darken in sadness. "As well as other things..."_

_I cocked my eyebrow. "Like what?"_

_"__You should break up with him__.", I saw him begin to shake._

_"__What__?!",I was furious._

_"I got to know him like you asked me too. The entire day while you were off with your gal pals, I got to know him, and I didn't like what I saw. He's not good for you Nessie!",his voice was getting louder._

_"Really? And what is? Jake? Tell me one bad thing about him?",I was on the brink of crying. Not from sadness but from anger. I couldn't believe that Jake was acting like this._

_"He's not right for you. Your to good for him! He's sick, and horrible!",he paused. I saw fire in his eyes. He took several deep breaths, the fire dissipating from his eyes. "I'll catch up with you later. See you at the party.",he said turning._

_I felt terrible. My arm reached out instinctively. "Jake..",but he was already walking back towards the ocean._

_Way to go Nessie. Your one true friend now hates you. I felt a tear stream down my face._

_

* * *

_

The bonfire was almost deserted. Almost everyone had gone their own way. Even Kaleb. I sighed. The party was a little over an hour in, and Jake still hadn't shown up. I got up and started heading back to the hotel. I'm so stupid.

* * *

_"__So Jake said you suck at basket ball?",I said smiling._

_His smile disappeared. "What was up with the two of you on the beach earlier today? He's not your boyfriend Nessie. I am!"_

_I took a step back. I did not expect this from him. "Jake's always been my best friend. What's wrong with that?",I asked incredulously._

_"Does he feel the same way? Do _**_you_**_ even feel that way?"_

_"Kaleb! You're my boyfriend, and Jake is my best friend."_

_"I'm not so sure about that anymore.",he said. "Have fun with your 'best friend'.",he made air quotes around 'best friend'."I have other options.",he turned and walked away. Flirting with every girl he passed..._

* * *

"I'm such and idiot.",I scolded myself.

"Nessie?"


	4. Confessions

"Jake?",I stood stunned.

I saw his eyes focus on mine as he came rushing forwards. His arms encircled me in his warmth, "Nessie..."

I buried my face in his scratchy brown shirt. I didn't say anything. I didn't need to say anything. He kissed the top of my head. He knew exactly what was wrong.

I felt more tears squeeze out as he tried to calm me. When the tears ceased, I spoke. "I soul have listened to you Jake." I pulled away slightly to look him in the eye. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You've always been there for me. Looking out for me. I, I-"

"Nessie, it's okay. Come on.",he looked towards the beach, and looked back at me. He let his arms fall to his sides, but he wouldn't take his eyes off of me. It looked like he was restraining himself. He looked away and started to head back to the hotel. I followed

We didn't talk until we reached my door. He told me goodnight, and I circled my arms around his neck, not wanting him to leave my side. He pulled away and smiled slightly. He walked down the hall, and I entered my room. I put my back against the door, and slid to the flood. I finished my sentence that Jake had interrupted on the beach. "I love you."

I stirred in my bed as I heard a knock at my door. I snatched a pillow from beside me and slammed it over my face. Trying to drowned out their infernal knocking.

"Ness! Come on! It's Manny and Becca!",they knocked at the door even louder now.

I rolled onto my side and looked over the pillows to see that it was seven in the morning. I groaned and rolled over again.

"Ness! You have to tell us what happened last night! After we headed off with the guys we met!",Becca paused. I heard Manny's voice now. "We saw Kaleb with this blonde girl and..." She trailed off.

The events from last night came rushing back to me. I felt my heart wretch. What Kaleb had said. What I had said. How I'd felt. Came right back and punched me in the face. I let out a sob as I cried.

"Nessie?",I heard them both at the door

"I'm coming...",I said as I wiped the tears from my face. As I opened the door, they came rushing in and hugged me.

Manny pulled back, "What really happened last night between you and Kaleb?"

I filled them in on what happened last night, and also what happened earlier that day and what Jake said about Kaleb. They both got really quiet during that part.

Becca looked up at me. She looked really sincere and sweet. "Jake's a really great guy isn't he?"

"Yeh, of course.",I paused, and swallowed hard. "You two would make a great couple." I smiled.

Manny touched my shoulder, and then looked at Becca. They exchanged a glance and then looked at me. Becca smiled,"We think you would make a better couple." I tried to protest but they wouldn't let me."You've known him longer. You liked him before I did.",my eyes grew wide."Yeh Ness, I knew you liked him long before you even realized _you_ did. The way you looked at him. You were always just as protective of him as he is with you. You and Kaleb were never meant to be."she paused,"But you and Jake are."

I looked down and bit my lip. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I sighed and looked back up at them. "I should go get dressed, so I'll talk to you guys later." They nodded and left the room. I ran into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My face was beat red. I stripped and turned on the shower to calm my nerves. The hot water soothed my tightened muscles. I can't believe what Becca had just said.

I took extra time getting ready. Straightening my hair, putting on make up, just procrastinating leaving the safety of my hotel room. Why does the thought of Jake and me as a couple scare me so much? I've hunted mountain lions! I had to face the Volturie when I was only a few months old. I've survived high school and am graduating in a few months! So why does the thought of me and Jake as a couple scare me?

I glared at my reflection. I looked down after several minutes. I've always loved Jake, and I know he loves me. But I'm terrified that he doesn't love me the way I love him now. More than just his little sister. I sighed and headed for my closet. I grabbed a pair a jean shorts and a tank top. I have to do this sooner or later. I headed out of my hotel room with the biggest butterflies in my stomach of all time.


End file.
